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Robin: Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.
Robin [whispering]: Okay.
Barney: All right... So Robin?
Robin: Yes Barney?
Barney: Guess who nailed the chick from Metro News One last night?
- Permalink: Now we go back to exactly the way things were before. Okay. ...
Robin: Okay, here's the deal Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.
Barney: Okay. Wait! [lifts up covers] Right-Click, Save As, Into the b-peg folder and Okay! This never happened. It's a good plan
- Permalink: Okay, here's the deal Barney; the moment my feet touch the groun...
Barney: So... I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
Robin: And I just slept with ex-boyfriend's really good friend.
Barney: Best friend.
- Permalink: So... I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend. And I ...
Barney: In my experience the way this normally goes is we lie here for a while; make a little awkward chit-chat.
Barney: Then I make up some cabinet meeting, heart surgery, rocket test flight I got to be at, slip out of your apartment and never call you again.
Robin: And later at the bar you tell your good friend Robin the story of your latest conquest and she wonders to herself "Who is this sad, self-loathing idiot who climbed in to bed with Barney Stinson?"
Barney: Actually, you usually say that out loud
- Permalink: In my experience the way this normally goes is we lie here for a...
You know, if you re-edit there's a tampon commercial in here somewhereBarney [referring to Robin's music video]
- Permalink: You know, if you re-edit there's a tampon commercial in here som...
Barney: You're the most awesome person I've ever met. Well, second.
Robin: Right, first being you.
Barney: No, actually, it's this guy I know who lives in something called the mirror. What up?
- Permalink: You're the most awesome person I've ever met. Well, second. Ri...
Barney: Shotgun for eternity!
Robin: You can't call shotgun for eternity.
Barney: I call that I can call things
- Permalink: Shotgun for eternity! You can't call shotgun for eternity. I...
Ted: Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough?
Robin: Uhhh, it's delicious enough
- Permalink: Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough? Uhhh, it's delicious e...
Hey! I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them-- and I have done some horrible things. I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hands, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her. So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologizeBarney
- Permalink: Hey! I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying t...
Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You can not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry five. Recently widowed.
- Permalink: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by th...
Stella: Ah the butterfly tramp stamp, my bread and butter. So I'm guessing that the real stories involves a bad break up and some booze, unless it's a gang tattoo in which case I thinks time to, find a new gang.
Ted: Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by and all of the sudden
- Permalink: Ah the butterfly tramp stamp, my bread and butter. So I'm guessi...
Ted: I mean, do you know what you're gonna want for lunch ten weeks from now?
Marshall: Sloppy Joe, shrimp cocktail, and a milkshake.
- Permalink: I mean, do you know what you're gonna want for lunch ten weeks f...