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Barney: In my experience the way this normally goes is we lie here for a while; make a little awkward chit-chat.
Barney: Then I make up some cabinet meeting, heart surgery, rocket test flight I got to be at, slip out of your apartment and never call you again.
Robin: And later at the bar you tell your good friend Robin the story of your latest conquest and she wonders to herself "Who is this sad, self-loathing idiot who climbed in to bed with Barney Stinson?"
Barney: Actually, you usually say that out loud