So that community protection? What are they, off nights?

Mary

Evita? Great, she got her hooker name in summer stock.

Mary

I've got Delia scouring Monster.com for butter churning gigs.

Mary

That was Granny's gone wild, knitting, porno weirdness.

Mary

Brandi: Do you have any pictures of Dad?
Mary: I can dig up one of his wanted posters.

Perfect is overrated. Put that in Latin and it's the Shannon family motto.

Mary

Great, our witness is Archie Bunker except, you know, not funny.

Marshall

Look, we're stuck in 1985. Daddy can't deal with his gay son. All I need now are my acid wash jeans and a scrunchie.

Mary

I'm with you every day. If you're having a baby, trust me, we're having a baby

Marshall

I tried to tell you, old candy from the bottom of the beauty shop bowl, never a good idea.

Marshall

Marshall: Besides I don't mind hanging out with Vic.
Mary: Of course you don't. He's a pint size you with a killer tan.

Marshall: You are in a different kind of mood this morning.
Mary: Actually, I'm in a really good mood. Which is kind of weird considering where I was 48 hours ago. Then I had a witness off herself and, like that is not bad enough, I've got to play second fiddle to a knucklehead like you.
Marshall: Thanks for lumping me in with kidnapping, attempted rape and suicide. Can't tell you how much that means.

In Plain Sight Quotes

One of the most difficult moments in anyone's life is when the fog of childhood lifts and we see for the first time our parents as people.

Mary

Marshall: You are in a different kind of mood this morning.
Mary: Actually, I'm in a really good mood. Which is kind of weird considering where I was 48 hours ago. Then I had a witness off herself and, like that is not bad enough, I've got to play second fiddle to a knucklehead like you.
Marshall: Thanks for lumping me in with kidnapping, attempted rape and suicide. Can't tell you how much that means.