Thursdays 10:00 PM on FX
Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

I have a little bit of a problem with old people...I find them kinda creepy...and scary. And gross, kinda gross. It's their hands really, you can see right through 'em and all their inside business.

Dee

Dee: Oh, you are being ridiculous. He's a professional football player.
Mac: No, look, I'm not talking about killing the guy. I'm just talking about going up there with a group of dudes and intimidate him, maybe break his arm.
Dee: You can't break Tom Brady's arm.
Mac: Oh yes, I can! No more Super Bowls for that pretty boy.

Dee: We talked about it, and we decided that we need to get rid of that gun.
Dennis: Oh, oh, the gun...yeah, we're getting rid of the gun.
Mac: You could have been killed. Dennis could have killed you.
Charlie: Okay, good, yes, I think that would be for the best... ah...mm...Dee, could you get me a nurse?
Dee: Yeah, sure. [exits]
Charlie: Tell me we're not getting rid of that gun.
Mac: No way!
Dennis pulls gun out of his pants]: Never.

If that log was trying to rob the place, you totally would've killed it.

Dennis

Mac: You are such a dildo, dude.
Dennis: Thanks, dude, thanks. That's a good way to start the day.

Mac: We need to be rational.
Charlie: All right, all right.
Mac: Okay, I thinks it's clear what needs to happen.
Dee: What?
Mac: We need to buy a gun!

Oh my God, Charlie, I shot you in your head! I am so sorry!

Dennis

Charlie my boy, you got the gun fever.

Mac

Dennis: What's the one thing that Charlie never gets?
Mac: Laid.

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