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Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

Frank didn't buy shitty presents. Frank bought the most awesome presents in the entire world. As a matter of fact, he would find out what Christmas presents we wanted that year and he'd buy it for himself, instead of buying them for us.

Dennis

Mac: No, your other left.
Charlie: My other left? I only have one left.
Mac: It's just an expression. Just move it to the other direction.
Charlie: What would that expression be for? For someone with two lefts?
Mac: No, just move it the other way.
Charlie: Towards your left?
Mac: Your left and my left are the same left because we're facing the same direction.
Charlie: Eh, we're two different people so we can't have the same left. It doesn't make sense.

[The baby] ruined my transmission, it ruined a perfectly good sewer conversation, I still want to get to the bottom of that one...

Dennis

Mac: Instead of doing a My Two Dads kind of thing, we'll do a Three Men and a Baby type of thing!
Charlie: Both equally effective movies.

Parenting is pretending you know what you're talking about, then jamming it down their throat!

Mac

Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale.

Dennis

God, what an irritating thing babies are!

Dennis

Mac: GOD! DAMMIT! Goddamn!
Dee: Nature is bullshit. I'm done with this.
Frank: I told ya, animals suck.

Dennis: That's all our money!
Charlie: No, it's all my money. You lost your money when you said no to the trucker.

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