Mac: Instead of doing a My Two Dads kind of thing, we'll do a Three Men and a Baby type of thing!
Charlie: Both equally effective movies.

Parenting is pretending you know what you're talking about, then jamming it down their throat!


Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale.


God, what an irritating thing babies are!


Mac: GOD! DAMMIT! Goddamn!
Dee: Nature is bullshit. I'm done with this.
Frank: I told ya, animals suck.

Dennis: That's all our money!
Charlie: No, it's all my money. You lost your money when you said no to the trucker.

This is for the rats!


If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.


Dennis: Do you have any money?
Charlie: Yeah, it's all right there. I put it all on black.

Dennis: We were hoping to be dropped off at a casino, this is just a motel.
Byron: I know. I thought we'd slip into a room and you could check my oil.

Animals can see souls. That is a fact of nature.


I named him Peter Peter Nickel Eater, because last night in the car he tried to eat a nickel.


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 6 Quotes

Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.

Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?