Stop talking to me like I'm an a**hole!

Mac's mom

If you think Jesus and the lord are so great, why don't have you have them swing by in their Lamborghinis and drive you home?


Deandra. That's not gonna be my future. I'm not gonna be buried in a grave. When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash.


Did you sex my mom, Santa Clause?


Ricky: So you stole this from me and you're coming back 20 years later to return it to me?
Charlie: At this point, I feel the robot's fallen under the finder-keepers law of America.

Dee: People are starting to notice.
Dennis: Of course they're starting to notice! There's a grown man crammed into a coach.

Based on that story, I'm fairly certain those Santas were running a train on your mother for money.


See, Mr. Hamilton, we feel if Frank can just understand what a dick he's been to people in his past and and how he's just going to end up old and alone like yourself, then maybe he'll be able to make up for some of his past mistakes.


Frank: You have to earn what you get. This principle made me a multi-millionaire.
Dee: No. No. Stealing millions of dollars from your ex-business partner is what made you a millionaire, Frank.
Frank: Eugene Hamilton was a great man! Do not speak ill of the dead.
Dennis: She's speaking ill of you!

Frank didn't buy shitty presents. Frank bought the most awesome presents in the entire world. As a matter of fact, he would find out what Christmas presents we wanted that year and he'd buy it for himself, instead of buying them for us.


Mac: No, your other left.
Charlie: My other left? I only have one left.
Mac: It's just an expression. Just move it to the other direction.
Charlie: What would that expression be for? For someone with two lefts?
Mac: No, just move it the other way.
Charlie: Towards your left?
Mac: Your left and my left are the same left because we're facing the same direction.
Charlie: Eh, we're two different people so we can't have the same left. It doesn't make sense.

[The baby] ruined my transmission, it ruined a perfectly good sewer conversation, I still want to get to the bottom of that one...


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 6 Quotes

Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?

Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.