TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Jersey Shore.

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.

Dude, you're not directing porn.

JWOWW

I'm not trashy, unless I drink too much.

Snooki

Whiskey sex is the best. It's when a guy can't have sex for like five hours because he's so drunk. Or his penis is so drunk.

Snooki

It's like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.

Snooki

If a girl's a slut, she should be abused.

Angelina

Sammi: Was she talking $h!t?
Angelina: Yeah.

I am literally head over heels.

JWoww

Right now, Pauly would hook up with me, he's so drunk.

Vinny

I'm going to smash this tattooed chick in my man Vinny's bed. In honor of my man Vinny for leaving the house.

Pauly D

[on Jwoww] I got a boner.

Snooki

We treat guests with utmost respect.

Pauly
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 912 in total

Jersey Shore Quotes

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.

I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.

Sammi