I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.

Sammi

I want a big, fat burger!

JWOWW

Ow. It hurts my vagina.

Snooki

[on Snooki] She loves hot salami.

Vinny

The lobster is the size of Schnooki.

Ronnie

Pauly D: Whether you're the first man in, or the last man in: Ryder.

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I'm not gonna get my nails done with her.

JWoww

What's her problem? I was mad chill with her.

Angelina

Two guys, two girls. Seems like a party to me.

Mike

If I was just gonna get sloppy, I should have just pounded out what's her name on Friday night.

Ronnie

Angelina was like a half-ass firecracker. It just fizzled out real quick and made a loud noise.

Mike

Ronnie's in prime creep mode.

Sammi

Jersey Shore Quotes

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.

I like my boobs.

JWoww