It's like fingerprints, how are you going to tell a guidette apart without her extensions?

Deena

Deena's hair is f****** disgusting right now. You might as well go Britney Spears and shave it off.

Snooki

[to Deena] Your a** is hanging out. Are you for real. What corner was you working tonight?

Mike

Now's it's two meat balls on the loose and we're completely not in the state of mind we should be.

Deena

You know it's bad when I'm the sober one.

Deena

Snooki: I'm mad drunk right now.
Deena: Can you walk at all?

We met this awesome gay guy. You're gay right? I love gay men. Love them! I can hang out with gay men all freaking day.

Deena

Let's just get wasty pants.

Snooki

We're not going to remember it. We're probably gonna make out. Team Meatballs!

Snooki

We got Situation nation coming down tonight!

Situation

I had a lot of anxiety over there, so... I had to deal with it over here, you know. It wasn't the right environment for me to be in... it was too much.

Vinny

I would have used the grenade camera on the girl Situation brought home but I had to get this cute girl to get it in for my man Vinny.

Pauly D

Jersey Shore Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

At this point, my man leaves me. I gotta go tell the rest of the household that he may not be coming back.

Pauly D

I just want to grab onto my dude and go 'don't go, don't go, don't leave me dude!'

Pauly D