Mondays 9:00 PM on ABC
Mistresses

Are you just never allowed to talk about another person with a penis when you get married?

Joss

I wish I could go with you but I have to go back to the FBI office tomorrow so I can help my not-married ex-boyfriend find my not-dead ex-husband who currently works for some drug dealing overlord.

April

Stop right there before i Jezebel your ass. You my friend are a grown woman and if the Universe is going to punish you then the Universe is a sexist pig.

Joss

Savi: He was trying to teach me how to do that pop up thing. I never actually popped up.
Joss: I bet he did.

Babe, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're broke.

Scott

I am finally the independent woman that Destiny's Child wanted me to be.

Joss

Joss: He bought me a Tesla?
April: I think we have different definitions of the word problem.

Savi, why are you wearing the depressed pony tail hair? What were you two just talking about?

Joss

You have always led with your heart despite the rules.

Jacob

Maybe he was just waiting his whole life for you.

Harry

We never had a chance, did we?

Dom

If I had a family that big who loved me that much I would definitely care what they thought.

Joss
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 171 in total

Mistresses Quotes

Stop right there before i Jezebel your ass. You my friend are a grown woman and if the Universe is going to punish you then the Universe is a sexist pig.

Joss

Customer: Is this the sexy sheet section?
April: This is the satin section. What's sexy to one person is a slippery elbow in the face to someone else.

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