I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.

Jay

• Permalink: I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.
• Rating: Unrated

Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

• Permalink: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.
• Rating: Unrated

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

• Permalink: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.
• Rating: Unrated

Wow so intense. I had no idea the kind of pressure you were under. Hunnie, I was just you for two hours, I could barely hold it together. I don’t know how you don’t have a meltdown everyday.

Claire

• Permalink: Wow so intense. I had no idea the kind of pressure you were under. Hunnie, I was just you for...
• Rating: Unrated

Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?

Claire [Haley]

• Permalink: Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?
• Rating: Unrated

Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?

• Permalink: Why cause he goes and gets things?
• Rating: Unrated

We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.

Cam

• Permalink: We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.
• Rating: Unrated

Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!

• Permalink: I hope you weren’t!
• Rating: Unrated

Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Mitchell [about Cam]

• Permalink: Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.
• Rating: Unrated

I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?

Manny [to Jay]

• Permalink: I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?
• Rating: Unrated

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

• Permalink: I’m gonna have nightmares!
• Rating: Unrated

Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.

• Permalink: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.
• Rating: Unrated