Luke [to Lily]: Okay a boy and a girl meet a frat party and they both think each other is totally hot. So they pound their beers and head upstairs-
Manny: Luke! Stop. She's not hearing this from you.

Cam: Umm well I can raise the roof and do the cabbage patch.
Mitchell: And I can do the single lady hand thing.
Cam: Yeah but put your neck into it or you just look like the Queen waving.

Oh my God, stop. We're gancient!

Mitchell

Alex: Sex is confusing for young people and she doesn't need to learn about it from two fuzz staches who barely know anything themselves!
Luke: Excuse me, you might want to check my browser history. I've done some research.

"To our best friend." That's a little sarcastic. It's her birthday, eh.

Mitchell

Claire: We are having fun.
Mitchell: You are. I'm just doing what you're making me do.

I know you think you discovered the new you, but you're controlling even when you're trying to not be controlling.

Mitchell [to Claire]

If it were easy, everyone would be hot.

Haley

Lesson learned- when pressure builds to dangerous levels, it must be released.

Luke

Jay: I thought your phone was stolen.
Gloria: This is Joe's phone.
Jay: This is why the terrorists hate us.

Can you not make this fear worse? I watched Dede coddle Mitchell when he was afraid of the dark. Until he was 7 he would only blink one eye at a time. It gave a lot girls the wrong impression.

Jay

The only thing stronger than Manny's fear is his need to protect his mama.

Gloria

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley