We're not going to play good cop/mom.


Where was all this conscience when I got us into the first-class lounge in the airport and you chewed Angela Lansbury's ear off?


I'm probably going to have a Latino kid carry my clubs anyway, might as well be you.


After the earthquake, it might be nice to be around similarly dressed people.


It's like they say, sometimes God closes a door, but sometimes he closes it so hard, you can't get your wife out.


Yo yo yo, what's the hot topic on The View today, ladies


Pepper: I feel like a joke.
Cam: You're not a joke. You're Pepper Salzman!

I brought you some soda, but I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats.


I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.


Phil: I'm like Shirley Temple and that black guy in that movie.
Plumber: Bill Bojangles Robinson.
Phil: Bill Bojangles Robinson, I said it first!

You're never alone when you have books.


Claire: You're grounded for four weeks!
Haley: Why don't you just double it and make it 10?
Alex: Do you not see how much you need to study?!?

Modern Family Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.


Some things you can't forget you've heard. Do you know what menstruation is? I do!