Modern Family

Modern Family "Family Portrait" Quotes

Phil: Put the 'he' in 'hero,' son.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's. Put on the first thing I grabbed. It was like a crotch tourniquet.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: Claire's a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing, like when it comes to picking a husband.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: I get it, you're terrfied of small talk and birds, you're just lucky that pigeon didn't want to chat you up about the weather.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Luke: My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: Calm down, you know I grew up around many animals. One time a rooster attacked me and my mom rung its neck and we had it for dinner.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire: Quick, quick tell me something to say that will freak him out.
Haley: Tell him I'm pregnant!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: I brought my own snacks, not because I'm cheap — it's a matter of principle. Plus I get a little rush from the danger. Be cool, be cool, be cool! Just look straight ahead... I've never felt more alive. WoOo!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: Hey Mom, I think my diet's working! My underwear won't stay up!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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