Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Put the 'he' in 'hero,' son.

Phil

The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's. Put on the first thing I grabbed. It was like a crotch tourniquet.

Jay

Claire's a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing, like when it comes to picking a husband.

Phil

What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.

Phil

I get it, you're terrfied of small talk and birds, you're just lucky that pigeon didn't want to chat you up about the weather.

Cameron

My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.

Luke

Calm down, you know I grew up around many animals. One time a rooster attacked me and my mom rung its neck and we had it for dinner.

Cameron

Claire: Quick, quick tell me something to say that will freak him out.
Haley: Tell him I'm pregnant!

I brought my own snacks, not because I'm cheap — it's a matter of principle. Plus I get a little rush from the danger. Be cool, be cool, be cool! Just look straight ahead... I've never felt more alive. WoOo!

Phil

Hey Mom, I think my diet's working! My underwear won't stay up!

Manny

The question is, why isn't all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice living!

Gloria

Ordinarily I'm a rule follower, but when someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium? That's when I get a little... nuts. It's a free country right? Let's just say it Ruffles me when some Goobers tell me I have to spend my half my PayDay on their hot dogs.

Phil
Displaying all 12 quotes

Modern Family Season 1 Episode 24 Quotes

The question is, why isn't all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice living!

Gloria

Ordinarily I'm a rule follower, but when someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium? That's when I get a little... nuts. It's a free country right? Let's just say it Ruffles me when some Goobers tell me I have to spend my half my PayDay on their hot dogs.

Phil
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