Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Alex: Haley, found your jacket.
Haley: WHY IS EVERYONE ON ME?

Gloria: What about the pigeons?
Jay: I don't like them. They're shifty.

I only understand about 20% of what goes on around here.

Jay

We're like Ponce de Leon and his son... little Ponce.

Phil

You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.

Phil

I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror.

Jay

Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!

Gloria

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.

Mitchell
Displaying quotes 13 - 20 of 20 in total

Modern Family Season 1 Episode 16 Quotes

Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!

Gloria

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.

Mitchell
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