Never getting my driver's license, or getting one and the picture sucks.

Haley [on her biggest fear]

We can't ignore the giant panda in the room


The recipe is from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine. Why do all the things I love go away?


Go to dinner with him and wait for the check to come, then you'll see fear in his eyes. It's like the waiter's a ghost.


My boy was in trouble. So I put my fears aside and came to his rescue? Does that make me a hero? Yes it does.


Manny: Today feels like a good day for halibut. Hey, Jay, did I ever tell you about the time I used peanut butter and jelly for bait?
Jay: I don't know. You tell me a lot of funny things.

He comes from a long line of fishers and smugglers. But I encourage the fishing.


Luke: When you stuck your head in, your screamed a little.
Phil: I told you. That was the house settling.

Her first word was every gay father's worst nightmare.


Luke: Aren't we going in?
Phil: We sure are. But won't it be fun if we did it with ski goggles and barbecue tools?

His name is Ponce? He'd get made fun of at my school. They'd probably call him "Pants."


Mitchell: Subtext: this is weird.
Cameron: I didn't hear any subtext.
Mitchell: Hear any now?

Modern Family Season 1 Episode 16 Quotes

Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!


Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.