Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Their ship went down but their love lasted forever!

Phil

Did you see that? When has your dad ever not wanted to pull Luke's finger. He's hurting.

Claire

Claire, I owe you a pack of lady razors.

Frank

We're in my kitchen, you have to stop saying 'hooker!'

Phil

He's a weird man. He's like Phil except I have to pay for him.

Jay

Andy: I'm the new Manny.
Manny: Am I being replaced?

A thousand therapists couldn't do what Gloria did for me.

Jay

Pepper: My job is to give you a snowflake that makes everyone die with jealousy.
Cam: That's all we've ever wanted.

I don't like another woman in my house. I want to be the star.

Gloria
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