Wow so intense. I had no idea the kind of pressure you were under. Hunnie, I was just you for two hours, I could barely hold it together. I don’t know how you don’t have a meltdown everyday.

Claire

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

It’s all gravy, when you’re in the A.V.

Phil

Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.

Jay

Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.

There’s a caste system at school. Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It’s offensive and disrespectful, they treat us like we’re lunch ladies.

Cam

My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.

Lily

She’s like a self-cleaning oven.

Phil [about Alex]

Modern Family Season 5 Episode 12 Quotes

My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.

Lily

She’s like a self-cleaning oven.

Phil [about Alex]