Claire: You don't make a shiv out of a knife.
Phil: yeah you make a shiv out of a rusty spoon or a shard of glass.
Claire: Or a human femur.
Phil: Exactly, be creative.

• Permalink: You don't make a shiv out of a knife. yeah you make a shiv out...
• Added: November 28, 2012

Ok on one hand I'm like ugh I have to pick up garbage all day and on the other hand I'm like wow look at me in orange!

Haley

• Permalink: Ok on one hand I'm like ugh I have to pick up garbage all day an...
• Added: November 28, 2012

Cats, now and forever. Well actually until next Thursday. It's been described as transcendent!

Cam

• Permalink: Cats, now and forever. Well actually until next Thursday. It's b...
• Added: November 28, 2012

Manny: Does anyone care that I'm not from Mexico?
Luke: You keep saying that but we've never seen a birth certificate.

• Permalink: Does anyone care that I'm not from Mexico? You keep saying tha...
• Added: November 28, 2012

Let's get Phil-sical.

Phil

• Permalink: Let's get Phil-sical.
• Added: November 28, 2012

There's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mugshots were cut.

Alex

• Permalink: There's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mugshots w...
• Added: November 28, 2012

Cam: I'm a doer and an action taker. Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this. Or Anne Hathaway if they wanted a female driven vehicle.
Mitchell: And who would play your long suffering partner?
Cam: Julianne Moore either way.
Mitchell: I would totally see that. I would.

• Permalink: I'm a doer and an action taker. Sean Penn would play me in a mov...
• Added: November 28, 2012

I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.

Gloria

• Permalink: I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.
• Added: November 28, 2012

For God's sake change out of those wingtips. You're a kid, not Nixon on the beach!

Jay [to Manny]

• Permalink: For God's sake change out of those wingtips. You're a kid, not N...
• Added: November 28, 2012