Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.

Cam

Look, I have no problem drinking. I can literally do it standing on my head. But A ,not with my parents. Plus also I needed to stay sharp because they were obviously up to something and I was in no mood. I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night.

Haley

Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?

Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?

Claire [Haley]

Wow so intense. I had no idea the kind of pressure you were under. Hunnie, I was just you for two hours, I could barely hold it together. I don’t know how you don’t have a meltdown everyday.

Claire

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

It’s all gravy, when you’re in the A.V.

Phil

Haley: You’re super green!
Mitchell: I know! I’m recycling a dollhouse, I recycled a child.

I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.

Jay

Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.

There’s a caste system at school. Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It’s offensive and disrespectful, they treat us like we’re lunch ladies.

Cam

My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.

Lily
Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 1290 in total