Claire: Why are you trying to turn this into a fight? I called to yell at you for getting me sick. Love you, bye.
Mitchell: I love you too.

If laughter is the best medicine, consider yourself grape flavored Triaminic.

Phil [to Luke]

Claire: This cold stops with me. Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
Phil: You did?
Luke: Appreciated the back rub. Not sure I loved being called Miss Thang.
Phil: Nooooo!

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It went to my ears on our flight home. I may have moaned a bit. A crying baby complained about me.


I never get sick. I must've caught some kind of chill on the beach when my socks got wet...My ankles burn.


Cam: Okay, come on we have something to show you!
Lily: Is it dinner or is my mouth too ugly to put food into?

Manny: When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you?
Gloria: Sexy pants.
Manny: Ew. The other one?
Gloria: Bunny.

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Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.


Okay you need to calm down. This college tour, not Oprah's favorite things.


Listen to me. I think you went to the jewelry store inside here (points to Jay's heart) and brought back a gem.


I think I could be a little less Ryan Gosling, and a little more everyman.


Claire: Check this out, a reflecting pond.
Alex: Great maybe you can see how crazy you’re being right now.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you, or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.