Now there are pushy obnoxious moms, who try and get involved, nudge them towards one another...we mean well.

Claire

Ew it's so sad when parents try. My mom double pierced one of her ears and I'm like "Hello! You're 50."

Alex

I've been lonely. Having a mirror in my room will be like having company.

Haley

What happened to him? He didn't used to be that self-conscious before high school. He used to go around in his poncho, play the band flute. I miss my old Manny.

Gloria

A happy kid is like an anti-depressant. But a natural one, not the kind your husband has to find in your jewelry drawer.

Phil

Haley: Oh my God I'm missing a text.
Alex: It just got real didn't it?

Her head sounds like pop rocks.

Cam

You win an Oscar. You buy a Golden Globe.

Cam

I have a mandate and not the kind you hide from your wife.

Gil

That's different, that was gossip and gossip belongs to everyone.

Cam

Gloria: Some people you turn your back for one second and they have another family from the bad side of town.
Jay: You ARE my other family from the bad side of town.

Should you be more worried that Haley has a nurse's uniform in her closet?

Alex

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said