Luke: Move!
Haley: You have plenty of room!
Luke: No, move out. You're 40!

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.


Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Don't get me wrong the Dunphys have some great days, we just have some trouble stringing them all together.


Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Wait is fire weather?


Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Don't cry, you'll streak your bronzer.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Half our guests are gay; we're finally giving them a good memory on a school bus.


Thanks to 35 dollars on the Internet you are looking at the Good Reverend Phillip Humphrey Dunphy.


Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy