Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!

Would you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one? I mean how crazy is that!

Cam

Everyone knows you're not farm strong!

Pam [to Cam]

You'd rather kill your husband than admit you need glasses?

Jay

Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?

Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad

She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.

Cam

Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?

Manny got into a fight at The Sound of Music, got kicked out, I've never been so proud.

Jay

You got a problem with Poppins, you got a problem with me.

Manny

Hunnie when I met you, you were a wedding DJ. By the way Spinderfella, looks like you still need to hit the grocery store.

Claire

Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 1213 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy

Just so you know sometimes when babies come this early, they're black.

Sal
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