I love film-making and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself.

Phil

Cam: Do you feel what's happening here?
Mitchell: I feel pinching!
Cam: I'm the weak link in the super-group.

He says the only tool you need is a sense of humor.

Luke [about Phil]

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

Mitchell: You know I'm surprised this particular foursome doesn't hang out more, considering...
Alex: We're the cultured ones in this family?

I used to make stuff for Claire all the time. I think my artistry was what locked her down.

Phil

You know what a lot of girls don't do? Guys who take ceramics.

Jay

Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.

Mitchell [to Jay]

I had a choice to make. Be the better dancer or the bigger man. So I stepped off the dance floor and made the obvious call. You wanna win over a crowd? Invite a lonely mom to dance. She never saw it coming and neither did he.

Cam

They say the greats never let anything affect their performance. Well maybe the greats never had a daughter who checked out during the third of five planned real time wardrobe changes. But I'm not gonna lie, it knocked me off my game.

Phil

Trust me, when I get done talking to her not only will she have confessed to the crime, I might even sell her a closet.

Jay

You know what I say, I might be coach but I like to travel first class!

Cam

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said