Modern Family

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Season 2 Episode 24: "The One That Got Away"

Jay: Now, the old Jay would have said, 'I wanted to be on a lake with a fishing rod and sunshine. Not bobbing around at night in a swimming pool.' I miss the old Jay.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: Twelve times a year I get sausages, that's it. Now what am I going to do until June?
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Let me work my magic. It's all about creative editing. Just give me two hours, and then another hour. Someone get me a chocolate milk, with extra salt.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Manny: Yeah, I'm just water-washing my hands.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: Glen Whipple. My college rival. Captain of the cheer squad. Winner of every robot battle. Every second I spent with the guy just made me feel worse about myself. Only thing I could compete with him in was close-up magic.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: I have a tennis racquet upstairs I only use as a bubble-bath frothier.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: Well, you're pretending to be something you're not, and boys do that for girls or really dreamy boys.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny [on his baseball glove]: I only used it once, and that was to take a torte out of the oven.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jay: Sausage-of-the-month club really nailed it in May, but honey, no offense, they almost lost me last month with that chorizo.
Gloria: Why no offense? It's a sausage, it's not on our flag.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 23: "See You Next Fall"

Haley: I'm kind hungry mom.
Phil: Oh my god she's back!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alex: I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: He thought we were gonna use it all the time, but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Phil: Do you think he had his butt done too? It looks fantastic.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jay: This is embarrassing...
Gloria: For the both of us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: Hey luke, do you realize in two years we'll both be graduating?
Luke: Not now. I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
Manny: Well, I'll be graduating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: You know what's really sad? The end of Titantic.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: He'll be here all week folks. Literally, because you're not coming home with me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: This morning, Cam, fully dressed....
Jay: Thank god it's one of those stories.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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