Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Now, the old Jay would have said, 'I wanted to be on a lake with a fishing rod and sunshine. Not bobbing around at night in a swimming pool.' I miss the old Jay.

Jay

Twelve times a year I get sausages, that's it. Now what am I going to do until June?

Jay

Let me work my magic. It's all about creative editing. Just give me two hours, and then another hour. Someone get me a chocolate milk, with extra salt.

Luke

Yeah, I'm just water-washing my hands.

Manny

Glen Whipple. My college rival. Captain of the cheer squad. Winner of every robot battle. Every second I spent with the guy just made me feel worse about myself. Only thing I could compete with him in was close-up magic.

Phil

I have a tennis racquet upstairs I only use as a bubble-bath frothier.

Manny

Well, you're pretending to be something you're not, and boys do that for girls or really dreamy boys.

Cam

I only used it once, and that was to take a torte out of the oven.

Manny [on his baseball glove]

Jay: Sausage-of-the-month club really nailed it in May, but honey, no offense, they almost lost me last month with that chorizo.
Gloria: Why no offense? It's a sausage, it's not on our flag.

Haley: I'm kind hungry mom.
Phil: Oh my god she's back!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."

Alex

Gloria: He thought we were gonna use it all the time, but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 279 in total

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire
×