Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

What ever happened to letting kids be themselves?

Jay

Gloria (whispers): It's the curse.
Jay: Not that I ever want to discourage you from whispering, but that's not a thing.

Haley: Look I need more sleep than you and ever since they cut down that stupid prune tree the sun has been right in my eyes every morning.
Alex: It's not a prune tree, they pruned the tree.

I know one Indian who was friends with a construction worker, fireman, and traffic cop.

Cam

Hey I see a couple of old people, this isn't one of those catheter commercials is it? Because if it gets too descriptive I'm gonna start to squirm. Oooh I just did it to myself.

Phil

Alex: It's junior year, I have to get good grades. Don't you know how competitive it is out there? Stop pressuring me!
Haley: You know, this is what happens to kids when they're not sexually active.

Prepare to feel like an old denim fest because I'm about to be-dazzling you.

Cam

He was up at 5 in the morning ironing, but he also does that when he's depressed so I don't know.

Gloria

Phil: Little heads up, there's no way I'm not crying at this wedding.
Claire: Phil you cried on the way here.

They keep their tools in a pillowcase but they have an occasions closet.

Jay

That's it a beautiful mind, harness that crazy into something positive.

Phil

Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear Claire or fear how much I love her.

Phil
Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 195 in total

Modern Family Season 5 Quotes

I know how it works. I rented the wrong movie once. Did you see Glenn Gary Glenn and Ross?

Gloria

If he doesn't go to Columbia, Columbia comes to me.

Jay
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