NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSPopular NCIS Quotes
Pavlenko: Now we're practically golf buddies.
Gibbs: I don't golf.
Pavlenko: Well, who has time, I mean really?
State Trooper Johnson: What do we have there?
Fornell: It's okay. It's prescription bourbon.
Gibbs: You need something Bishop.
Bishop: Nope. I'm good.
Gibbs: Wasn't a question.
Bishop: Deep undercover work, like Tony did years ago. Hypothetically, would you ever put me in that position?
Gibbs: That's tough to answer.
Bishop: I'm only saying....I know the big picture. Eventually, everyone's time comes. And I understand and accept that.
Gibbs: Forget the big picture. Look at everything close up.
Bishop: Do you think that working undercover for so long affected your marriage?
Gibbs: Go home to Jake, Bishop.
McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
Abby: Okay.
Clark: I knew you looked familiar. Remember those blue eyes from the photo i.d.s I whipped up. I used to keep the undercover persona as close as possible to the agent adopting it. That's why Speers was a former Marine from Stillwater Pennsylvania.
Bishop: How do you remember that?
Clark: They were my creations. Does an artist forget the details of her paintings? I certainly hope not.
McGee: Bishop you realize if we'd arrive fifteen seconds earlier we'd both be dead?
Bishop: Aren't you glad I made you stop for coffee McGee?
Tony: He's venti grateful.
If a dead dude's shed explodes in the woods and there's no one around to hear it, did it make a sound?
Tony
You have arrived at your final destination.
GPS
Gibbs: You know I've got a friend. He paid his dad's hotel bill once, because his dad couldn't cover it. And I said to my friend, I said "why'd you do that? Your dad never did anything for you". The look on his face. Never seen anything like it. There was more love on his face than I ever saw. I guess that his dad meant more to him than he knew.
Aziz: What does that have to do with anything?
Gibbs: Give him an activity. McGee does it for you.
Senior: Junior. You there?
Tony: Hey dad. Listen we'll work on that paper thing but I really need you to do something for me.
Senior: You do?
Tony: Yeah. I need you to re-caulk my tub.
Senior: You mean like a handy-man kind of thing?
Tony: Yeah that's it. Sort of an emergency, I heard it on the news. There's a recall on the caulking I used.
Senior: You're kidding!
Tony: No, no. Causes athlete's foot. Nasty. I know you've got a lot on your mind--
Senior: Oh that's all right. I'll be fine. I can handle it.
Tony: Well thanks a million, dad.
Senior: See you son.
Gibbs: Works like a charm.
Bishop: So why did Linda leave him?
Tony: She probably got clued into his line of work.
Bishop: I thought he was a businessman.
Tony: Ha.
McGee: Well he calls himself an entrepreneur. But he's kind of more like a head-hunter who finds rich people, by--
Tony: It's okay Tim, you can say it. My dad is a con man.
Bishop: What? But he's so---
Tony: Handsome? Charismatic? Right place, right time? Exactly.
Vance: So, what are you gonna tell her? (Gibbs turns to face him) Lee a hero or a villain?
Gibbs: Both.
