NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSNCIS Quotes
Gibbs: Okay. [laughs] Who is she? [Shuts down elevator] The phone. The plans. Are you dating again, Tobias?
Fornell: Okay. And if I am?
Gibbs: Just tell me.
Fornell: Okay. My sex life--
Gibbs: Oh God, just -- [turns elevator back on]
Vance: You have a cell phone jammer.
Scott: You're quick. That'll help. Now drive. Think of your children.
Vance: What was the operation in '02?
Bishop: Juniper Strike.
Vance: And?
Bishop: We only know as much as this top sheet says. While the list wasn't classified, the operation it refers to is, and since it's a joint operation, we'll need clearance from British SAS.
Vance: Gibbs?
Gibbs: I'd rather not wait, director.
Vance: Me neither. Go.
Bishop: Just to be clear, you want us to hack into the case files.
Vance: [nods]
McGee: I figured it out.
Tony: Where the bad guys are hiding?
McGee: No, your apartment. The giveaway was the fact that Gibbs, Fornell and Abby knew about it. So I figured it was case related.
Tony: Good guess, Inspector Clouseau.
McGee: Not a guess. Your apartment was the scene of a triple homicide.
Tony: Amazing what a good paint job will do. Previous owners hacked up the body with an electric carving knife.
McGee: You know, the fact that so much time has passed now, you don't even have to disclose those deaths when you sell.
Tony: Wait, is that true?
Gibbs: How many have you got?
Fornell: None.
Gibbs: Doesn't sound like it.
Fornell: Well. I can't get it up.
Gibbs: Aw geeze.....
Fornell: No. The nerve. I can't get up the nerve to go out with them. I should start this all again.
Gibbs: Please. Don't.
Vance: What the hell was that?
Tony: I don't know. I usually only have that effect on women.
McGee: Good morning, Ellie.
Bishop: Good morning, Tim.
Bishop: Here we go. A homeless guy. Doesn't really look like Tony.
McGee: Give him a few years.
Actually she told me that I'd get to play a government agent, you know, like Jason Bourne. Instead of course I get Jason Boring.
Tiny Tony
Tony: How long have I been working for NCIS?
Tiny Tony: Long enough that you should be making better money. Wait for it...wait for it....yup. You're pathetic.
Tall Tony: I'm not even that good at memorizing lines, but you were easy. You have no life.
Tiny Tony: It's true. No wife, no kids, no hobbies. Same job, same apartment. Nothing changes with you.
Did you happen to catch her name, DiNozzo, or is that not the way dates work anymore?
Gibbs
