McGee: You should appreciate your father. I never had family traditions.
Tony: Well. We haven't had them for years. Traditions kind of died with my grandfather. Senior was kind of an absentee parent, you know? Longstanding customs kind of disappeared. Along with a certain family signet ring. It was always passed on to the next generation on the Christmas of the son's 21st birthday. I never got it. Senior claimed it was stolen. "I was mugged, Junior." But I think he pawned it during the bad times.

Tony: What happened in here?
Tony Senior: Is this how you're going to react to all the hard work I did today? I baked your favorite Christmas cookies. Snickerdoodles. Used your mother's recipe.
Tony: I knew your staying here was a mistake. Look. This is my apartment. Okay? This is my space.
Tony Senior: Junior. Chill. Chill. Get the Christmas spirit.

Tony Senior: Junior's the only family I have left. After his mother died it just hasn't been the same.
Ziva: He showed me a picture of her. She was really beautiful.
Tony Senior: Inside and out. She was the love of my life Ziva. I've never been able to fill up that void. God knows I've gotten into a lot of trouble trying.

Stewie: This was one crazy dude in college. Really knew how to have a good time.
Tony: Shut up. No way.
Stewie: Did he tell you he was the school mascot?
Tony: No! What was the MIT mascot?
McGee: Really. Does it matter?
Tony: Oh yes it does. Stewie?
Stewie: A beaver. He was Tim the Beaver our senior year.
Tony: Please tell me you dressed up like a beaver.

Tony Senior: What can I say? I'm me. I'm not gonna change.
Tony: I know. I know you're not gonna change. And I don't know why I was smiling because there's nothing funny about this. Dad this is my home. I told you my rules, okay? And you broke them. It was a mistake having you here for Christmas.
Tony Senior: You want me to leave.

I'm not alone.

Gibbs

Give Victor a break for being him, not for being someone else.

Gibbs

She never gets sick. Even germs avoid her.

Agent Fornell

Holy 4th of July weiner roast! What am I looking at!

Agent Fornell

Agent McGee: You're attractive, at least on the outside.
Diane Sterling: I'll take that.

Now I wish to act crazy. To really let loose!

Agent Diane Sterling

I bet she's a panther in the sack!

Tony

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott