NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSNCIS Quotes
Fornell: All right, this is too pathetic. Grab your stuff, let's go.
Tony: Go where?
Fornell: My house.
Tony: You're inviting me to your house for Thanksgiving dinner? I thought I was your second-least favorite?
Fornell: You are. But dry turkey, blackened dinner rolls....it's really more of a punishment.
Tony: So now that we're friends, can I call you Toby?
Fornell: Don't push your luck.
Barbara: My daughter doesn't open up to many people, Gibbs. So I guess if she trust you, I should too. It is not easy knowing she's hundreds of miles away working in a dangerous job. If I had my way, she'd live here and be a teacher. Or a nun.
Gibbs: Daughters.
Barbara: That being said, it is very comforting to know she's surrounded by people who care about her.
Gibbs: I'll look after her.
Barbara: I'm counting on that.
McGee: You know I once dated a girl who had pteronophobia.
Tony: What is that?
McGee: A fear of being tickled with a feather.
Tony: That's interesting. Kinky. Wait a minute. You haven't dated that many people. Do I know this person? Is it Delilah?
McGee: No. It's not Delilah.
Tony: Is it Abby? It is! It's Abby!
McGee: Listen. She will kill me, okay? You have to promise, promise that you will not tell her.
Tony: I promise. You have my word as a gentleman, I promise.
Friedgen: You've got to understand. I didn't do anything. I'm innocent, but nobody believes me. Everyone thinks I'm guilty of murder and got off on a technicality.
Clark: The police aren't looking for anyone else, Gibbs.
Gibbs: What do you want me to do?
Friedgen: I want NCIS to arrest me for murder. I want the truth to come out. I deserve my day in court, sir. I want to be court-martialed.
Green: Is this THE DiNozzo?
Malone: In person.
Green: Hey, you are a legend around here. I've heard a lot of wild stories about you. Tell me about the naked bust. That's not true.
Tony: That is 100% true.
McGee: So who was naked, you or the perp?
Tony: Both of us. I was undercover at a nudist colony.
Malone: See we got this tip. Pole dancer was stealing from her boss, so she's hiding out in a nudist colony. DiNozzo volunteers to go undercover.
McGee: Of course he does.
Green: Is it true you spotted her right away but didn't make the arrest for two days?
Tony: Three days.
Bishop: Now can you tell me why you weren't there when the bomb went off?
Jake: The agency's been asking me the same question. There was a threat assessment before the conference; it was covered up, and then leaked. They suspected I had knowledge of it.
Bishop: Did you?
Jake: Ellie, come on.
Bishop: Where were you?
Jake: You know this is so frustrating.
Bishop: Is this why you've been so distracted and distant lately?
Jake: When you had NSA clearance, we could discuss things, at lunch, at home. But now...
Bishop: I know. I understand and...I hate it.
Tony: Bish is in the cone of silence. Do you know who she's talking to?
McGee: Jake, I think. Obviously something she doesn't want us to hear.
Tony: She seems a little down. Think maybe I should talk to her.
McGee: Leave her be.
Tony: Maybe she's in need of a little brotherly advice.
Here. Sit down. You talk, I'll listen.
Gibbs
Bishop: At first, I thought that you were having an affair. But I know what's going on now, and I know that you're in trouble at work.
Jake: Ellie....
Bishop: Yesterday I went to surprise you at lunch. But when I got there I saw you being reprimanded by Taylor Matthews from Internal Affairs.
Jake: Stop. I'm not in trouble at work. This is so hard. I've been trying to tell you but I don't know how. I'm having an affair with Taylor. At first it was just an office flirtation, that's all it was. But then we went to Dubai. I'm not making excuses but after the bombing....
Bishop: Shut up. I don't want to hear any more.
Jake: Ellie, Ellie you don't deserve this. Look, I hate myself for what I've done.
Bishop: Were you with her last night?
Jake, I'm in a bad place. I hurt a lot. I'm going home to Oklahoma. Don't contact me. I'm not sure when I'll be back.
Bishop [in a note]
McGee: Bishop have you not noticed how extra quiet Gibbs has been, lately?
Tony: See, he's on about this. I don't agree with you.
Bishop: Lately?
Tony: Thank you
McGee: Jeanne Benoit? Really? Wow.
Bishop: All I got out of Tony was "good friends" but I know there's more.
McGee: Oh, there's more, believe me. There's so much more I don't even know where to start.
