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Ncis

Tony: You need some lady advice.
Tim: I'd rather get a lap dance from a nun.

Ziva: We hit a shamu.
Susan: Did she mean a snafu?

In high school, I was actually voted least likely to take a hint.

Susan

Borin: You can call me Abby.
Gibbs: No, that's not going to happen.

Tony: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?"
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.

This was no boating accident.

Tony

Tobias: This is a big deal, you letting me drive your car.
Gibbs: Whatever, you already slept with my wife.

DiNozzo: We got nothing.
Tobias: I don't like the sound of that.
DiNozzo: [way more enthusiastically] WE GOT NOTHIN'!

Gibbs: Get Tony and Ziva out of bed.
McGee: What? Oh, you want me to get them out of bed. Because it's the middle of the night. Their individual beds.

Gibbs: You only take on cases which cross my path.
Hart: Don't flatter yourself.
Gibbs: You're standing in my house!

Ziva: What do you think Corporal Vega was doing at an empty warehouse?
Tony: I don't know. Why don't you pick the lock and find out?
Ziva: We do not have a warrant.
Tony: This building is foreclosed, which means it's owned by the bank, and since the people own the banks I think technically that means we own the building.
Ziva: Wow.

Ziva: What is that?
Tony: It's a Geiger counter. You can't be too careful.

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NCIS Season 7 Quotes

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

Salim: So what are you doing here?
Tony: There's only one force on Earth that can short circuit a man's better instincts, put fire in his veins and make him dive head-long into danger without regard for his well being. Vengeance. I'm here to kill you.

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