What is this? The last night of drama camp?


Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!


Everyone has had sex in my room!


Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.


Winston: Would you consider us adorable?
Nick: No, we're adult men. We're cute.

Nick, we will talk about this in the morning. But, first, I'm gonna go do stuff with a girl


Edgar: Oh my God, you smell like waffles.
Edgar's girlfriend: Want to eat me up?
Edgar: Yes, I do.

Don't ask about the duffle bag, bitch!

Edgar's mom

I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.


You're the deer! He wants to kill you! You're the deer!


What are you, the doodle police?


New Girl Quotes

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"


I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.