Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!

Cece

Everyone has had sex in my room!

Jess

Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

Jess

I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.

Schmidt

I know you're a terrible liar, but I need you to lie to Cece.

Schmidt

Ferguson is on the elevator. Is that OK?

Regan

My whole life is you.

Schmidt

This looks like an ad for a bong making company.

Jess

Nick, we will talk about this in the morning. But, first, I'm gonna go do stuff with a girl

Winston

Edgar: Oh my God, you smell like waffles.
Edgar's girlfriend: Want to eat me up?
Edgar: Yes, I do.

Don't ask about the duffle bag, bitch!

Edgar's mom

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess