New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXPopular New Girl Quotes
Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!
Schmidt
I'm about to go pay this fine, and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!
Jess
Julia: You never know, a judge might buy into this whole thing, so..
Jess: What whole thing?
Julia: Your whole thing. With the cupcakes and the breaking for birds, and the bluebirds come and help me dress in the morning!
Jess: Oh wow, I didn't know I was doing a thing.
Julia: It's a great thing. The big beautiful blue eyes. I bet that gets you out of a lot of things.
Jess: Yeah, except my peripheral vision is almost too good
Julia: I don't like you and I don't want to be your friend, so could you leave please, because I'm about to start crying, and you are the last person I want to cry in front of.
Jess: I want to cry too. Where am I supposed to cry? You can't monopolize the bathroom crying space.
Winston: What are we laughing at?
Shelby: How much I am not going home with you tonight.
Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape!
Schmidt
What if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig?
Schmidt
Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it's just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.
Nick
Remy [to Nick]: You get to be the underpants captain tonight.
Jess: Great choice, Remy. Nick will make a great underpants captain.
Train to Panama all sold out. Must be Mardi Gras!
Schmidt [with foreign accent]
I know you probably think cupcakes are totally lame. I know I do. So if you could do me a solid and take care of these extras.
Jess [to Remy]
I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
Nick
