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New-girl

Cece, I'm sorry, but when I stand up, you're gonna see my penis, and when I walk out, you're gonna see my butt.

Nick

Hello, Pica? I need a table for five. This is author Toni Morrison.

Winston

Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?

Jess: Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing.
Nick: That's the only thing in the world I know to be true.

Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?

Jess

Let's talk about it, in my perfect two-thirds replica of Don Draper's office.

Schmidt

Schmidt: No sig oths.
Cece: Just say "significant others."
Schmidt: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I'm on a tight sched.

I wouldn't even begin to know how to steal a swag.

Schmidt

I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.

Winston

Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."

Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 519 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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