I will say only one thing about that man that I've only said about Ryan Gosling...hot damn!

Winston

Schmidt: Come on Gina, give me a shot at red potatoes.
Gina: No way cause I need ya. You're the best sort of mid-level employee I've ever had. You are the ass to my horse and I'm gonna keep you right here, right by my side where I can find ya, forever.

You got girl trouble, get a crystal!

Winston

Eat glass and die you tramp!

Mrs. Roz

If you died, I'd be lost!

Nick

Jess: So you want us to come out so that you can go back to hooking up with all the hot teachers?
Coach: Very much so.

I just want to be slapped around!

Winston

We'll be celebrating Bangsgiving!

Schmidt

I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.

Winston

I’m not putting on the kimono. It legitimizes you owning it.

Nick

I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.

Nick

I have no idea why you live with these people. What kind of person would urinate on an electrical socket?

The Fish

New Girl Quotes

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick