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New-girl

So yeah, I was dating them both at the same time. I'm a mess, I can't sleep, I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.

Schmidt

A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls.

Nick

Oh my God. It is a hand...full of dollar bills y'all!

Jess

Nick: It's Schmidt we're talking about here. After we saw the movie "Titanic," he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.
Jess: What?!
Nick: Look it up. They're called Zane-iacs.

Enjoy the break-up. If you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop.

Schmidt

Cease lovemaking! All lovemaking must cease!

Schmidt

Human dental dam!

Schmidt

Ain't no way in hell I got a cat brothel going on in my room and I'm the only normal person in this loft.

Winston

He's gonna have to get...it rhymes with "flute-ered."

Winston

Jess: I have to show Nick...something in the bathroom.
Nick: It's tiles...I'm so bad at lying! It's for sex!

You broke my heart. Mail me my mouthguard.

Elizabeth

She's older--MUCH older--DEEPLY Korean.

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 524 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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