New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXNew Girl Quotes
Make up an excuse and get out of jury duty. Jess, please, I need you.
Nick
You son of a bitch, I love you!
Nick
Everything you just said makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others.
Nick
Should somebody ask you for a second napkin you just say, are you sure? Nine times out of ten they'll just back off and say thanks.
Schmidt
Save your groans for Bird Man!
Schmidt
Jess: There he is! Mr. New York. Mr. Broadway. Happy last day, I made you this.
Coach: It's a bunch of pictures of you.
Jess: Well, I had to take the necessary precautions because the last time you left, you forgot who I was. You called me Jebecka.
Winston: Live from New York, it's Coach's goodbye!
Jess: Show's over.
Winston: We ain't doing this?
Nick: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can't get rid of it.
Coach: It's not and you have to.
Schmidt: Everything you own is trash.
Coach: You're basically a hoarder.
Nick: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Coach: I need you to get harder Nick. Can you get harder for me?
Nick: What?
Coach: Do you need me to get hard with you?
Nick: I feel like you're not meaning to say what you're saying.
Coach: I'm talking about cleaning up.
If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?
Winston
I found an ant farm filled with candy wrappers, is this essential?
Nick
Schmidt: Are you in love with me? Because I'm in love with you, deeply. I assume that you would never because I messed this up so many times. You've made it very clear you only want to be friends with me and I value that friendship so much. So it I'm ruining it by doing any of this, please stop me.
Cece: Schmidt. I'm in love with you.
