New Girl Quotes
Are you like a Bond villain? You just told me your whole plan.Schmidt
So head's up, Paul's coming tonight. And I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.Jess
Nick: I'm not going to a black barber shop, Winston. I've seen the movies. I know how fast they talk. I don't need to seem any less cool than I already do.
Schmidt: Wanna go to my salon?
Oh yea, it's...your baby. It's cute. Yea, your baby's cute.Nick
Hey tiger, you're having sex tonight. Don't give me that look, just do it!Jess
It is not that hard. It is an instrument that a cat wears around its neck!Winston
I don't care if it sounds like a man covered in bells falling down a set of stairs... that are also covered in bells.Jess
I want friends who still lie to me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.Nick
Winston: Where are your eyes?
Students: On the tiger.
Nick: Do you know what this is Schmidt?
Schmidt: Yea, DOY, it's a SCISSOR...Yeah a scissor that you just threw in the TURDLET.
Winston: Eye of the Tiger ended the cold war.
Jess: That's not even a little bit true.
Schmidt: Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Nick: Stop smelling my hair!
Schmidt: You know how much that stuff cost?
Nick: I didn't use your conditioner!
Schmidt: Why does your hair look so baby soft?!