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New-girl

Winston: Where are your eyes?
Students: On the tiger.

Nick: Do you know what this is Schmidt?
Schmidt: Yea, DOY, it's a SCISSOR...Yeah a scissor that you just threw in the TURDLET.

Winston: Eye of the Tiger ended the cold war.
Jess: That's not even a little bit true.

Schmidt: Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Nick: Stop smelling my hair!
Schmidt: You know how much that stuff cost?
Nick: I didn't use your conditioner!
Schmidt: Why does your hair look so baby soft?!

Nick: Unlike you Schmidt, I don't just throw my money at problems!
Schmidt: All I'm hearing is I can't use my bathroom because you're poor.

Yea I put your couch and your freezer in your room. I didn't want to get my poor on them.

Nick

I'm losing my mind guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.

Winston

Jess: I just need you to not do that thing you do.
Nick: What thing? I don't do a thing.
Jess: Yes, you get all mean and you make that little turtle face!

Jess: No! He's here early, how do I look?
Schmidt: It's better if you don't know.

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