That's fine, but we still need to deal with the rest of the world and how they see us. And when you come in late, and you call it a f*cking club, you make us all look like a joke. We need to know who we are, or they'll think we're joke


Who needs a life? She'll die from eating today's lunch.


Sofia: You are trippin'.
Gloria: I am mothering. And I am a ferocious, pissed-off, real mother. But you wouldn't know nothing about that, would you? Nah. 'Cause you ain't nothing real.

Taystee: Why don't y'all just look it up?
Cindy: Can't, ain't no dictionary.

Now you're like a case of pop. You've got value.

Pennsatucky's Mom

Maureen: Suzanne, tell us about your process.
Crazy Eyes: I think of sh*t and write it down.

Big Boo: Hey, maybe next time you can suck his d*ck, get us an ice cream cake.
Pennsatucky: C'mon, you know that would melt before it got here, so that's not a good idea, duh.

Then why do girls like it when men call them sluts during sex? Or b*tches? Or dirty whores who love cum?

Crazy Eyes

It was fun for a while, but the fun just started to seem like everyone was covering up the empty feelings.


Pearson: But how can there be, uh, this many Jews in here? I mean, who are the Jews?
Caputo: I know. It's confusing, right? We used to have them wear the Stars of David, but we had to stop doing that after World War II. I don't remember why.

Ladies, now is the time to be bold. For when these men smell your panties, they are smelling your character. Let them smell daring and courage. Let them smell women who are unabashed and un-self-conscious. And let them say that Litchfield is a place where women love their bodies and have love to spare.


I don't know what is going to happen, and if you guys don't get out of here, I can't write it to find out. So, if you love Time Hump Chronicles, please leaveā€.

Crazy Eyes

Orange is the New Black Quotes

Piper: I spent a lot of time wondering if it would matter if I died.
Nicky: In the macro sense, no. You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life. But, you f*ckin' tickle me, so I think it would matter.

I want you to understand. You do not have to have lesbian sex.

Sam Healy