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Leanne: Someone's cranky.
Yoga Jones: Excuse me. If someone hadn't just joined the strike this morning, they might be cranky, too.
Bennett: Daya, I would go to jail.
Daya: Well at least we would be even.
- Permalink: Well at least we would be even.
What is the oldest trick in the book? Poop? In a bag? On fire?!Piper
- Permalink: What is the oldest trick in the book? Poop? In a bag? On fire?!
Piper: Why don't you get me an iPhone so I can take pictures and play Candy Crush. I told you before, I'm not risking my freedom for your f*cking byline.
Andrew: Piper, this woman is a criminal.
Piper: Yeah? So am I.
- Permalink: Yeah? So am I.
Congratulations. You've officially ruined a man's life.Figueora
- Permalink: Congratulations. You've officially ruined a man's life.
Morello: Ahh! I think I did the left side too much. The arch is too high?
Nicky: Yeah, it looks like you're really skeptical about everything, but I think the leery look is hot.
Doesn't everyone lie to everyone?Nicky
- Permalink: Doesn't everyone lie to everyone?
You can't walk home without your shoes. They're nice shoes.Alex
Piper. They're from Marshall's. F*ck you.
Alex: What kind of a lesbian are you?
Piper: The boob-touching kind.
- Permalink: The boob-touching kind.
When I said prove it, I meant in a Coach Taylor kind of way, not a terrify all the inmates kind of way.Caputo
Larry: I slept with someone.
Piper: Really? You decided to tell me that with your flaccid dick in my mouth?
- Permalink: Really? You decided to tell me that with your flaccid dick in my mouth?
Larry: I can't believe you're wasting your time on lettuce.
Piper: Do you know how long it's been since I had a vegetable that actually crunched?