Ron: Terry, what has Leslie been up to?
Terry: Oh getting ready for big press conference!
Ben: Terry come on!

You have to tell me because you legally bound yourself to me inmarriage!

Leslie

I made a list of the things you love. Playing with our dog, staring contests, having sex with me - and so on. Then I lost the list.

Andy

Do you want me to bite him?

April

This is a competition. We need to win it. Please do your jobs.

Ron

They're talking about this ball!

Leslie

Leslie: That was all flash no substance!
Ron: It was exactly as substantive as your presentation.

Did you hear a word I said?! No you didn't! Because I'm a ghost!

Ben

Leslie: You're the most unreasonable person I've ever meet and I'm not going to change my mind no matter what anyone says.
Ron: You're bad at scrapbooking.
Leslie: Whaa--?

  • Permalink: Whaa--?
  • Rating: Unrated

I'm going to break out of here, then I'm going to snap you in half.

Ron

I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 mins.

Ron

Ron: WHAT IF WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY AND HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE?
Leslie: I DID NOT CONSIDER THAT POSSIBILITY!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron