Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

Leslie

I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.

Ron

Leslie: Why are you like this?
Jean-Ralphio: Pills, baby!

Leslie: Pawnee, the Paris of America. Pawnee, the Akron of southwest Indiana. Pawnee, welcome, German soldiers. After the Nazis took France our mayor kind of panicked. Pawnee, the factory fire capital of America. Pawnee, welcome, Vietnamese soldiers. Pawnee, engage with Zorp. For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. Pawnee, Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp. Pawnee, it's safe to be here now. Pawnee, birthplace of Julia Roberts. That was a lie, she sued and so we had to change it. Pawnee, home of the world famous Julia Roberts lawsuit. Pawnee, welcome, Taliban soldiers. And finally, our current slogan: Pawnee, first in friendship, fourth in obesity.

Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

Ron

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.

Ron

There has never been a sadness not cured by breakfast food.

Ron

Craig Middlebrooks. Samantha in the boardroom, Miranda in the bedroom. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s who I am!

Craig

Tom: Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal if breakfast cereal.
Donna: I love breakfast cereal.

Ron: You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April