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Tom put all my records into this rectangle!

Ron

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

Ron

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron

I don't like charity. Feels like I'm giving money away and getting nothing in return.

Dennis Feinstein

And what exactly does Gryzzl do? It’s a cloud for your cloud. I have no idea.

Ben

If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?

Ron

Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.

Ron

Ann, you are such a good friend. You are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox. Thank you, ox, for keeping this ship afloat.

Leslie

Leslie: Let's look at the pros and cons.
Ann: Pro, we can fill in the pit and build a park.
Leslie: Con, we might be filling it in with dirty money.
Tom: Pro, $35,000 worth of dirty money.
Leslie: Con, not quite sure why that's a pro.
Mark: We can fill in the pit.
Leslie: Con, Ann already said that. Pro and con never works.
Tom: Pro, yes it does.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
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