Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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When I was in sixth grade, I was voted best dressed by 87 votes. And there were only 63 people in my class.

Leslie Knope

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

Ron

Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: is it a banger?

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A schlamazel is the guy he spills it on. Jerry is both the schlemiel and the schlamazel of our office.

Ron

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

I want to be president someday, so I have not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was kind of indescribable really. I felt like I was floating. It turns out that there wasn't any marijuana in it, it was just an insanely good brownie.

Leslie

Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.

I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.

Andy

Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.

I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.

Andy

Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants! Band name I call it! Or maybe just Fleetwood Mac.

Andy
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.