Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!

April

My name is Craig Middlebrooks and this is my debit rewards card!

Craig

I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn’t actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it. I don’t know who Al Gore is and now I’m afraid to ask.

Andy

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron

I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

April

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

Ron
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 1331 in total