Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.

Ron

Tom: Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal if breakfast cereal.
Donna: I love breakfast cereal.

Was I wearing a tiara when I came in here? Because if you happen upon it, would you have Lady Pennyface retrieve it and send it post-hence?

Leslie

I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

Chris

Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.

Leslie: Yellow haired female... likes waffles and news.
Ann: Sexy, well-read blonde... loves the sweeter things in life.
Leslie: Much better.
Ann: Hobbies?
Leslie: Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun...jammin' on my planner!
Ann: Favorite place?
Leslie: Upstairs there's this mural of wildflowers, and I like to sit on a bench in front of it.
Ann: Really? It could be anywhere in the world: Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon...
Leslie: Nope. Just the bench in front of the mural.
Ann: What about an actual meadow, where wildflowers are?
Leslie: Eww, Ann, I'm scared of bees, mural!
Ann: Okay, what do you think of dogs?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Cats?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Fish?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Turtles?
Leslie: No opinion. They're condescending.
Ann: Describe your ideal man.
Leslie: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing. And he plays the organ.
Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.

Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.

Leslie

I hope you brought a change of clothes because your eyes are about to piss tears.

Jean-Ralphio

Yo. So I feel like you were mad at me yesterday and I don't know why so I made a list of everything I did and I'm going to try not to do any of them again.

Andy

April: You know what? I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No I'm not. They provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.

Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

Leslie

Parks & Rec Quotes

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April