Craig Middlebrooks. Samantha in the boardroom, Miranda in the bedroom. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s who I am!

Craig

Winning is every girl's dream. But it's my destiny. And my dream.

Leslie

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

Tammy does not abide by the Geneva Convention.

Ron

When I was in sixth grade, I was voted best dressed by 87 votes. And there were only 63 people in my class.

Leslie Knope

Yo. So I feel like you were mad at me yesterday and I don't know why so I made a list of everything I did and I'm going to try not to do any of them again.

Andy

I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.

Andy

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I'll do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant that nothing got done.

Ron

I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.

Chris

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to, 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Tom

Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.

Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.