My official statement is that is, overall, a bummer.

Leslie

The snooker has become the snort!

Leslie

Video Ron Demand.

Tom

Is he eating soup? On a bench? Alone?

Donna

I'm very glad that you agree with me, but I actually worked really hard on my argument. Is there any way I can still, kind of, yeah?

Leslie

This case just remained interesting.

Andy

They're probably making out, over a dead deer. Super romantic.

Andy [about Mark and Ann]

I think it's a real shame when people focus on the taudry details of a scandal. Personally, all I care about is Councilman Dexhart's policies; not whether he was high on nitrous and cocaine during the cave sex...which, by the way, I heard he was.

Leslie

Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?

Leslie

Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?

April

Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie: That's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.

I hit my head, or brain helmet.

Andy

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April