If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?

Ron

Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to fight them-except that I am!

Leslie

Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.

The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Ron

Yo. So I feel like you were mad at me yesterday and I don't know why so I made a list of everything I did and I'm going to try not to do any of them again.

Andy

Extremely well put.

Judge Perd

Leslie: It is with a heavy heart that I say: we have been Jammed.

This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy. I'm down to one word a minute and the word is perflipiskop. Because I can't fly spaceships.

Donna

Children are terrible artists and artists are crooks.

Ron

The Meagles are cold people.

Donna

Does the carpet match the face?

Tammy

I did a show called Zoot, Zoot Wyatt in college.

Ben

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy