I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

April

Yes, the sky has land.

Ron

April: My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine?

If you re-arrange the letters of Peru, you get Europe.

Andy

Donna: I'll take it.
Ann: Donna, there's a camera in it.
Donna: I know.

An animal on the head, a manimal in the bed.

Tom

I have so many ideas. Some are simple like take down traffic lights and eliminate the post office. The bigger ones will be tougher, like 'bring all this crumbling to the ground.'

Ron

I can never tell if people are lying to me. I hope that doesn't come up in my police work.

Andy

I'm April Ludgate Kvorkian.

April

Ann: That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.
Leslie: In a way, that's a compliment. Shows dedication.

Andy: We're acting under direct orders from Mayor Gunderson's dog.
Leslie: Office.

Justin: You've got to try this.
Leslie: Oh that's really good.
Justin: Isn't it great? It's camel stomach.
Leslie: Is it?
Justin: I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken.
Waiter: Would you like to try the camel stomach?
Leslie: No.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy