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Oh crap, did we lose seniors in the woods again?


Andy: We're acting under direct orders from Mayor Gunderson's dog.
Leslie: Office.

Did you guys get your public forum gift bag? There's an iPod Touch in here.


What's cholesterol?


Are you hitting on Leslie for me?


It's my favorite kind of battle. Two men enter. One me leaves!


Hey, are you alright? You seem super not happy.


Ben: What's going on?
Leslie: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
Ben: Damn it. Again?

I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are US Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two inch style oscillating knife blade.


Tom-cat, pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable.


Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.


Tom: I actually have my own charity to attend to: Tommy's Tummy Foundation.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!


Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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