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Parks-and-recreation

I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toed boot. But this hotel always served bacon wrapped shrimp. That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I'd go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon wrapped shrimp.

Ron

Jim: I love Great lakes wine.
Tom: You can have the wine. I'm wanna take that cheese and do terrible things to it.

I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

Leslie

I'm going to see my mom. She's a big mucky-muck in the county school system. She's my hero. How do I explain her? She's as repected as Mother Theresa; she's as powerful as Stalin and she's as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

Leslie Knope

This is my basketball court. I don't want to see any double dribbles. I don't want to see any three second violations.

Ron Swanson

(singing while drunk) Soul Sister, Soul Sister, better get that dough sister! Sweet Lady Marmalarde.

Leslie Knope

Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That's kind of a weird way to describe me.

Shauna: I'm surprised no one's complained about this.
Leslie: Oh, tons of people have. Yeah ... we get letters every day.

Local citizen: Look, I think this is a great idea, but I can't make any forum. I would have to get a babysitter...
Leslie Knope: How old are your kids?
Local citizen: Four and two.
Leslie Knope: Could the four-year-old watch the two-year-old?

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