Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 20: "94 Meetings" Quotes
I know you're probably thinking, "There's that crazy gate lady from outside back again." And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady. But the only thing I'm crazy about is leaving the past behind.Leslie
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I should be the one that's upset. It's supposed to be me and Ann. Or me and Jessica. Or Ann and Jessica with me watching.Tom
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Well nothing's bruised but my ego. And my arm, a little, from the mechanized gate.Leslie
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Leslie: I need you to get this word for word.
Shauna: It's a tape recorder, so it will.
Leslie: Gazebo. More like gazoinks-bo. She may be a former beauty queen, but today she's the king of destroying history.
Shauna: OK, could you just maybe talk normally?
Leslie: OK fine. Gazoinks-bo. Jessica Wicks is throwing a birthday party for her husband, Nick Newport Sr. at the Turnbill Mansion tonight.
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April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face.Ron
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Ron: How are we doing?
Andy: Pretty good. I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. Is that a problem?
Ann: I diagnosed two melanomas. They're both benign.
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A hundred and fifty years ago an interracial couple was married here and then slaughtered by their own families. It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. Why are you trying to destroy it?Leslie
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Resident: I represent the ultimate Frisbee league and-
Andy: Pawnee has an ultimate league?
Resident: Yes, and we keep running into conflicts with the-
Andy: You won me over. I will join your team.
Resident: Um, I'm sorry. What we need-
Andy: When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we the lightning?
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Citizen: I thought I was having this meeting with Ron Swanson.
April: I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead.
April: I'm his daughter, April Swanson. And it's his last wish that I have this meeting with you.
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Citizen: So your department banned me from attending games just because I yell "you suck" at the players.
Ron: According to the complaint, you yelled it at 5-year-old girls.
Citizen: Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand!
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History is important. You just can't go around changing everything all the time. Or else next thing you know they'll be painting the White House not white. I'm so angry I can't think of another color. [pause] Green.Leslie
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Jessica: Where I come from, there's a saying: "What's done is done."
Leslie: That's a saying everywhere.
Tom: I've never heard it before and I think it's a great saying.
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April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.Andy
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Ron: To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmare-ish hellscape. However to Leslie Knope-
Leslie: Oh how fun!
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