Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 13: "Emergency Response" Quotes
No one achieves anything alone.
Leslie
Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely.
Ron
The next thing you'll want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.
Ron
Oh, no! Pawnee has been hit with a Tornado Quake!
Leslie
Leslie: It is with a heavy heart that I say: we have been Jammed.
I wouldn't know. I've never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.
Ron
Well, everyone calls me Andy, but my full name is Andrew...? I think...
Andy
Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.
Leslie
Damnit, Jamm. I should have had animal control kill you.
Leslie
A few months ago the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening toward Bummer-town, but now I'm infected with a deadly virus. And I feel fine!
Chris
The tables showed up which is good, but there are no chairs which is bad.
Donna
Ann: That's Mission Im-Pawnee-able: Knope Protocol.
