Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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No one achieves anything alone.

Leslie

Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely.

Ron

The next thing you'll want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.

Ron

Oh, no! Pawnee has been hit with a Tornado Quake!

Leslie

Leslie: It is with a heavy heart that I say: we have been Jammed.

I wouldn't know. I've never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.

Ron

Well, everyone calls me Andy, but my full name is Andrew...? I think...

Andy

Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.

Leslie

Damnit, Jamm. I should have had animal control kill you.

Leslie

A few months ago the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening toward Bummer-town, but now I'm infected with a deadly virus. And I feel fine!

Chris

The tables showed up which is good, but there are no chairs which is bad.

Donna

Ann: That's Mission Im-Pawnee-able: Knope Protocol.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? I hope so! Because the only way that this gala is going to happen is if you do everything I say.

Leslie

Love fades away. But things...things are forever.

Tom