Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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"The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy."

Ron

"I want to spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you. And I'm the luckiest man in the galaxy."

Andy

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

"No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"

Ben

"Excuse me! Are there any strippers here? Former strippers? Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?"

Tom

"One time I fell madly in love with a civil war re-enactor that I had only known for six hours. And then I found out he wore the clothes all the time... and he was married. But the clothes thing really bothered me."

Leslie

"One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid. Usually standing from behind."

Tom

"Are you sick? Are you terminal? Is it like that movie A Walk to Remember?"

Leslie

"Do you know where you are right now? We're in the jungle. They're no friends here. It's every woman for herself."

Donna

"It's like if you could have a Xbox pancake."

Andy

"The dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday but it's always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it's always fun to see Tom faint."

Ron
Displaying all 11 quotes

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 9 Quotes

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

"It's like if you could have a Xbox pancake."

Andy