Recently I have been thinking about maybe leaving this job, but I felt like I needed a sign. And then Ann broke up with me the week I was going to propose, the government got shut down and yesterday one of those pigeons took an [expletive] on me. And I was indoors, so...


Mark: You know, not everyone has your enthusiasm for this work.
Leslie: You know, I guess I've been mispronouncing your name all these years, Mark Brendana-quits.

Traditionally, when I end a long-term relationship, I'm a little fragile, and I have a tendency to do some reckless things. So I need to stay away from Chris.


I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.


I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.


Leslie: That is not your call.
Ben: I know, it's on your badge.

Idaho cut their parks department by 80 percent. And Idaho is basically one giant park.


I have run 10 miles a day, every day, for 18 years. That's 65 thousand miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.


The government has been shut down for two days, and one city employee has tried to schedule 14 meetings with me. Can you guess who?


You're wrong. Are you crazy? Can you put a price tag on a child's smile?


I'm very glad that you agree with me, but I actually worked really hard on my argument. Is there any way I can still, kind of, yeah?


School is out in two weeks. What am I going to do with my kids all day? Keep them in my house? Where I live?

Resident #2

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 23 Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Got a really good deal on my lease. Paying like 12 percent interest. That's like one of the highest you can get.