Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "Tom's Divorce" Quotes

Leslie: How could there possibly still be glitter on me?
Tom: It takes forever to get off. My crotch looks like a disco ball.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: You know those hangover pills you can order on TV? I threw up a bunch of them this morning. I feel much better.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Could you carry him out of here, please? And, you know, also maybe not have sex with his wife.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I don't get men. If they're not wagering their girlfriends in pool, then they're trying to steal each others' wives. It makes you question the whole notion of those bromance movies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Tom, it's perfectly normal to feel devastated when something is over. That's exactly how I felt when that Planet Earth series ended.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Leslie [to stripper]: Go crazy, OK? Give my friend here the works. Really grind the sorrow out of him.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I know that legally Ann is now mine, but it weirdly doesn't feel that way.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Take it down a notch. You already won your Oscar, DiCaprio.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Tom-cat, pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the Earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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