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Parks-and-recreation

Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!

April

Tom: You’re like a crazy volcano. You’ll have to bring it down a notch.
Craig: I’ll bring it down a dozen notches if I have to!

I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

April

It’s your me. It’s wife.

Leslie

I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!

April

This comes from your mother’s butt.

April

Ben: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Ron: Thank you, that means a lot to me.

I need the good stuff. The “Mariah needs to sing tonight” stuff.

Leslie

Andy: If you do collapse, I know first aid, er karate.
Leslie: That’s not first aid.
Andy: It is if you do it right! Heimlich!

I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color system.

Ron

My name is Craig Middlebrooks and this is my debit rewards card!

Craig

Principal: How old are you?
April: He’s 33 and I’m 47/Immortal.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron
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