Leslie: Ron, you big fat giant sap!
Ron: That seems unnecessary.

I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk, and hangover, simultaneously, at 2 in the afternoon.

April

Sure I loved shutting things down, bleeding the beast from the inside...

Ron

I was going to ask you for a job. In the federal government - even saying it feels dirty.

Ron

Ron: Hello Larry.
Terry: It's Terry now.
Ron: Okay.

Two years ago, you found out you were quarter French and had a nervous breakdown.

Leslie

That's the real reason I hired you. Those brownies were damn good.

Ron

Ron: You called me a "heartless thug."
Leslie: I absolutely did not!
Ron: You were tough. And honest.

I'll do anything! I'll watch a foreign film! I'll talk to a man with a ponytail!

Ron

Leslie: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron: No I didn't - I remember that part. It says "hire her."

Ron: You mean I've had a toy on my desk all this time?
Leslie: You mean you thought you had a REAL landmine on your desk??

Ron: I have my rights as a US citizen to blow a hole in that f*cking door and get out! It's in the constitution!
Leslie: There's no swearing in the constitution.