Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Quotes (Page 5)

Season 5 Episode 14: "Leslie and Ben"

Donna: Did you just pee your pants?
Jerry: Just a dab.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: How did Cinderella finish her dress so fast? Birds and squirrels, yeah that's not gonna work.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Ron, I'm going to need you to walk me down the aisle.
Ron: It would be an honor. And the first time I won't regret walking down the aisle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: But my mom isn't here. And you parents aren't here.
Ben: Good!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 13: "Emergency Response"

Leslie: No one achieves anything alone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Ron: The next thing you'll want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Oh, no! Pawnee has been hit with a Tornado Quake!
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: It is with a heavy heart that I say: we have been Jammed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: I wouldn't know. I've never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Well, everyone calls me Andy, but my full name is Andrew...? I think...
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Damnit, Jamm. I should have had animal control kill you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: A few months ago the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening toward Bummer-town, but now I'm infected with a deadly virus. And I feel fine!
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: The tables showed up which is good, but there are no chairs which is bad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: That's Mission Im-Pawnee-able: Knope Protocol.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? I hope so! Because the only way that this gala is going to happen is if you do everything I say.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Love fades away. But things...things are forever.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 12: "Ann's Decision"

Ann: Is that a drawing of my reproductive system saying "let's do this"?
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: My God. I have driven Ann right into the belly of the douche.
 • Rating: Unrated

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