Private Practice

Private Practice Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 10: "In Which Dell Finds His Fight"

(Discussing the retirement home 'fight club')
Dell: I don't believe this.
Dell's grandfather: We didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.
Dell: Yeah, then why did you hit each other?
Dell's grandfather: We had to do something. The days there... you can't tell one from another. Me... Nate... we were all going crazy.
Dell: You know, that part's obvious.
 • Rating: Unrated

(About Naomi)
Dell: Every time she walks away from you, she's miserable! And I care about how she feels, okay? I care.
Sam: Dell...
Dell: I know what you think, but this isn't just a crush. Okay? Maybe after so many years you just don't see it. You know how many women think like that, and, and look like that, and laugh like that, and care? One. So far I've met one. And yeah, she's... she's out of my league in every possible way, but I don't care. She... dazzles me. And I'm not stupid enough to hope that one day I'll meet someone like her when the time is right, because I won't. I love her. Okay? And I guarantee you, I wouldn't make her cry.
Sam: Okay, uh, Dell, I know that you're under a lot of stress right now, so I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say those things about my wife.
Dell: (pointedly) Ex-wife.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Addison and Naomi are informing a couple about a procedure they could use to isolate viable sperm from the ostensibly infertile husband)
Jeffrey: Wow, this is so freaking cool, it's like... Rambo time! (he pauses) In... Inside my testicles.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Addison and Naomi have just fertilised their patient's egg with her husband's one viable sperm)
Addison (to Naomi): I think we just made a baby.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cooper: Who kicked your dog?
Pete: I think I'm helping some other guy win over Addison.
Cooper: Good job.
Pete: It'd be weird to punch him out now, right?
Cooper: Yeah, a little bit.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlotte (to Cooper): Sex is best when you feel like you want to kill the other person.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Charlotte and Cooper are lying in bed after having sex)
Coop: So, are we dating?
Charlotte: If dirty sex on a regular basis is dating, then... yeah.
Coop: Okay, good... Does that mean I get to be on top?
Charlotte: Never.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Dell walks into Naomi's office at the end of the day)
Naomi: Oh, hi, Dell. What is...
(Dell grabs her coat)
Naomi: Oh, thank you.
(He helps her into it, then pushes her against the window, kissing her passionately. He stops. Naomi looks stunned)
Dell: I... I don't have it all together, okay? But I'm not a kid. I'm a man. Who loves you. Who's going to fight for you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Addison: Hey Pete.
Pete: Hey.
Addison: Have fun at your class!
Naomi: Have fun at your class...
Addison: I'm being a friend,OK? We're doing friendship.
Naomi: Yeah, I'm your friend and you never been that nice to me, ever.
Addison: We are adjusting, all right?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cooper: (To the recorder) Your wife is about to have a baby, Jack. So put down the Blackberry, stop sending Adam to do your dirty work and get over here. Got that, Jack...ass?
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: "I think I'm helping some other guy win over Addison."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Naomi: "It's amazing what some people will do to entertain themselves."
 • Rating: Unrated

Dell: [about Sam] "He's fighting for her."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 9: "In Which Cooper Finds a Port In His Storm"

Naomi: God's trying to tell us something.
Sam: It's a coincidence.
Naomi: No. We... we have sex and then the day after, our priest summons us? It's the fires of hell, Sam. We had sex!
Sam: Just don't mention that we got a divorce. I don't need a lecture. Play it cool.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Addison: Ring me if we get a Safe Surrender call. I'll be just down the street. I've got a thing.
Pete: A thing?
Addison: Yes.
Pete: Well, don't drink. Friends don’t let friends drink and save babies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Naomi: Still don't think God's trying to tell us something?
Sam: You don't really think we're being punished for what we did last night?
Naomi: What, just because we may have some rare tropical, probably deadly, disease the morning after we have sex?
Sam: Well, if we are sick... I'm glad we got some.
Naomi: How sentimental.
Sam: That was a joke... I was joking.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pete: Just a hint. You don't have to tell us the...
Violet: He calls himself Trunk.
Cooper: Okay... well, when I think "trunk" in relation to a guy, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Elephants' trunks, very large... oh! Is he... freakishly large? Is he hideously...
Violet: I can't tell you!
Cooper: Trunk!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pete: Addison's date last night was with a patient of Violet's. Now Violet seems worried.
Cooper: No way. Awesome. What's the deal?
 • Rating: Unrated

Addison: This girl, Darcy, she carried her for nine months. I've had her for one night... one night, and the thought of her being thrown into some foster home is killing me.
Naomi: You can't have this baby, Addison.
Addison: I know... I named her ... Batgirl.
Naomi: (laughs) Okay, you just can't have kids.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sam: Can I get you anything? Some tea, or wine?
Addison: Wine... I called Naomi, but, uh, no one answered
Sam: You want to talk about it?
Addison: It was, um, a night, you know? Just a night, and uh, like I called Naomi and she wasn't home, and I... I just couldn't... go home yet.
 • Rating: Unrated

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