Ray: Where's the poker?
Cochran: What? You gonna shoot me now? Fuck yourself you Irish piece of shit.
Ray: [shoots him in the leg] Where's the poker?

Paige: Do you feel any differently?
Ray: What?
Paige: Now that you got everything you wanted?
Ray: No.
Paige: That's too bad.

If you haven't learned that Mickey always draws a shit hand, that's on you.

Mickey: They ain't gonna believe I'm senile, Ray.
Ray: Really? I don't think it's such a big stretch.
Mickey: Fuck you.

Thank you, Ray. Boy. What a freak show that was. Has that chick ever heard of Invisalign?

Ed

Mrs. Minassian, my father's a dipshit, he's always been a dipshit. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that. What I can do is offer to pay you back for any inconvenience he may have caused you.

Mickey: I ain't fuckin' senile.
Ray: Fine. You're not senile. Go tell Joe Friday out there you want to wear a wire and get your brains blown out in Long Beach.
Mickey: You could say I get confused from time to time.

Why couldn't you just play fuckin' bingo like a normal old man?

You are a worthwhile human being. You have a healthy appetite for sex. You are beautiful. You are a flawed man.

Ed

Old Lady: Isn't that just sad? I hope he's not driving.
Abby: He's got Parkinson's, you fucking cunt.
Terry: It's good to have a Southie bitch on your side.
Abby: It's good to have the opportunity to be one.
Terry: That's the way, uh huh uh huh I like it, uh huh uh huh.

Terry: We can't take communion.
Ray: It's a fuckin' cracker.

Bridget: Admit you're attracted to me
Mr. Donellen: I am. Attracted to you. [Bridget kisses him.]

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Kate: You know something about that Ray?
Ray: Just because we fucked doesn't mean I'm not gonna do my job (smiles).