Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 36 years since my last confession.

Terry! Come on in. Take your pants off.

Mickey

Ray's just like my old man was with my mom. Too caught up with his own bullshit to realize how beautiful she was.

Terry

Terry: It's like Fatal Attraction. I bet she wasn't wearin' any panties.
Abby: [laughs] That was Basic Instinct.

You're gonna need a criminal lawyer. Today.

Lee

Ray: Where's the poker?
Cochran: What? You gonna shoot me now? Fuck yourself you Irish piece of shit.
Ray: [shoots him in the leg] Where's the poker?

Paige: Who do you think is more powerful in this town, you or Andrew Finney?
Ray: I don't know, why don't you go up there and find out? But tell the truth and get it all. Who knows, you play your cards right, you might even keep the team.

Thank you, Ray. Boy. What a freak show that was. Has that chick ever heard of Invisalign?

Ed

Mrs. Minassian, my father's a dipshit, he's always been a dipshit. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that. What I can do is offer to pay you back for any inconvenience he may have caused you.

Mickey: I ain't fuckin' senile.
Ray: Fine. You're not senile. Go tell Joe Friday out there you want to wear a wire and get your brains blown out in Long Beach.
Mickey: You could say I get confused from time to time.

Mickey: They ain't gonna believe I'm senile, Ray.
Ray: Really? I don't think it's such a big stretch.
Mickey: Fuck you.

Paige: Do you feel any differently?
Ray: What?
Paige: Now that you got everything you wanted?
Ray: No.
Paige: That's too bad.

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Well it's not going to lick itself.

Motel Owner