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Ben: Hey. Guess what Saturday is. Our two-month anniversary.
Nina: You're right. Wow, two months ago I kidnapped you and forced you to be my boyfriend.
Ben: Oh, the details don't matter. What matters is I want to do something special for our occasion. Anything you want to do, okay? Unless it involves sacrificing an animal.
Nina: Oh.
Ben: But anything else, I'm in

Ben: Could you put some on clothes, please?
Sock: I'm too upset for clothes

Kristen: My father cannot know I date my stepbrother.
Sock: All right, sure, look, he'll be shocked at first. Yeah, so is the father of every girl I've ever dated, all right? But eventually, I promise you, he will settle into a nice, grudging acceptance

Ben: I mean, who's going to want me?
Sock: You bite your tongue, Benjamin. You bite your tongue 'til it bleeds in your mouth. You are a beautiful man, the outside and the inside. You got, you got that smile, that really lights up a room, that laugh. And that sexy Latin gaze that pulls you in like a magnet from the mother ship.
Ben: You... mean that?
Sock: Benjamin Casper Perez Gonzalez, I could get lost in your eyes for days. I'm not going to apologize for that

Sock: Okay, if we were meeting at the bar right now. I would probably try and pick you up with my best line.
Kristen: Okay.
Sock: Okay. Ahem. Excuse me. Hi. I think you're standing on my penis.
Kristen: I'm not sure I understand, but it sounds charming

Women. They're like a... mystery, wrapped inside of a... mystery wrapped inside of a third mystery

Sock

Clingy? She called me clingy? Damn. I got to call her to make sure everything's okay

Ben

Ben is adorable, and I really, really like him. But, um, he's just a little clingy. Sometimes. Kind of makes me wanna rip out his internal organs and show them to him. Well, not really, but you know what I mean

Nina

Nina: I'm probably going to get something to eat.
Ben: Cool, I like eating.
Nina: Do you like to eat llama? Because I'm going to eat a live llama

You know, it's like your talking. I can hear the stupid words coming out of your mouth but they have no meaning.

Sock

Tony: Plus, I came to warn you, I think they're dispatching some demon assassins to kill you.
Sock: Oh, we know. Ben's dating one of them.
Ben: Yeah, we're a power couple

Why don't you just ask your little girlfriend for some help? She dates you, she must know a lot about babies

Gladys [to Sam]
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 233 in total

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